Title: EVERYBODY’S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY HONEY
Starring: Yamashita Tomohisa and Inoue Mao and A LOT of other famous people
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Love/comedy
Disclaimer: No I don’t own Yamapi (though I wish and pray hard I do) or Mao. I am not whatsoever affiliated with JE either. It’s fiction. Look it up in the dictionary.
Chapters: ?


13TH & FINAL CHAPTER

Yamapi made a post on his J-web, after a long time of not writing on it. He felt he had to say it himself, and not just read about it on some random tabloid. Whatever the outcome may be, he was prepared to face it.

“To all those who have been a supporter of me or of any Johnny’s idol for a long time:

Hello everyone. Before you go any further, I will warn you beforehand that this will be a very long post. This is by far my longest j-web post. This special post is dedicated to all the JE supporters, so I hope you will read this thoroughly because every word comes from the bottom of my heart. First of all, before anything else and before you hear any news from a newspaper or the net, thank you. I can’t find another synonym to “thanks” to explain the depth of my gratitude. We idols say it all the time: thank you, and you’re probably sick of hearing it already. I lived majority of my life being an idol, being in the public eye, and being a performer. You witnessed me grow up. You witnessed me succeed. You witnessed me fail. You witnessed my constantly changing hairstyles. You all know everything about me to the point where I feel you know me more than I know myself. But the Yamapi you know is the “Idol Yamapi” …the one onstage singing, dancing, doing fanservice, and acting for a drama. That is the Yamapi you came to know. You are convinced to believe that performing is all I live for, that my whole world revolves around it, that I have no life or concern other than those. The truth is, I am just like any other guy in Japan. I am painfully normal; it just so happens that I have a cooler job. I make mistakes, I get pimples, I get diarrhea, I burp, I watch porn, I curse, I used to smoke, I get drunk, and yes, I fall in love—just like everyone else. I cannot live up to the perfect image you expect me to, because believe it or not, I am anything but perfect. You have looked up to us, put us on a pedestal like we are saints, and we appreciate that, but you have to understand we cannot live up to your expectations all the time. The entertainment world is a scary place. Sometimes I feel suffocated and imprisoned. I can’t just go to Harajuku when I want to, I can’t go out without photographers following me, I can’t spend time outdoors without a disguise. Everything is limited in my private and social life and it’s frustrating. I am frustrated that I have to hide the real side of me in order to please the whole world, that I have to be this different person in front of an audience. It doesn’t have to be that way, ne. I want to be open to you, to my fans, and I want you to accept me. I wish you could accept the side of Yamapi you don’t know. If you truly are a supporter of mine, you would accept my flaws, my actions and especially my decisions. I want to be able to share my happiness when I’m happy, my sadness when I’m sad, without having to worry about other people’s reactions. I am sorry to say I cannot be a good role model and example all the time because no matter how hard I try to be someone else or no matter how much I struggle to keep a perfect and ideal persona, my flaws will eventually come out and everyone will hate me for it. I love my job, and if given the chance, I would do this again in another life, but I never thought the pressure and the attention could be so unbearably suffocating. If this continues, I’m afraid I won’t be able to go on anymore. I’m sorry for these blunt words, but I feel I have a right to express them even though Johnny might fire me for it. You also have a right to know the truth and the truth is, there are a lot of decisions I want to make and undertake, and one of them include being with someone I like. There’s someone I want to be with right now, and you probably know that by now, but circumstances have prevented me from being with her, and it has caused me immense pain and suffering, nothing like I’ve felt before. I promised myself before that once I’ve found someone I truly care about, I’d tell the whole world at any cost, and set aside the fact that it will cause an outburst. So now, I officially proclaim that I’ve found that person. And I’ve never been happier. And if it’s not too much to ask, I’d want you to be happy for me too. I rarely got to make big sweeping decisions on my own, and now I want to follow my heart and instinct. I am hoping everyone would understand this. Again, thank you, and at the same time, sorry. I do not regret this, and will never do. I owe you the truth, and you’ve got it. Whatever becomes of everything, Yamapi will remain strong and will continue to work hard for everyone, because his love always prevails.”

His excessively long J-web post was read by millions of fans almost instantly, and stirred mixed emotions. Some felt sad, some cried, some felt guilty, some were moved, some were woken up from their delusions. All of those who’ve read it were impressed by his courage to speak out and show the side of him that the people never see. He successfully sent the subliminal message he had been wanting to send for a long time and it took him a long time to do it. Fans wrote comments and e-mails, encouraging him to keep up, and not quit Johnny’s. They were all messages of love and encouragement and “gambattes”, and strangely, no one ranted about who the girl is, or “Why this girl taking my precious kawaii Pi away from me I kill this biyatch.” kind of messages, which what anyone would expect. Of course, the photo sticker came out and went public in a matter of hours, and it became infamous in an instant. There was outrage, but it wasn’t as horrible as anyone had thought. In fact, the general reaction of the mass was…nothing. For the first time in history, fans tolerated and even encouraged a “scandal” by a Johnny’s. Johnny, surprisingly, didn’t say a word about it, and remained mum on the subject and kept out of the public eye. If it wasn’t causing him any problems, then he has nothing to do with it anymore. Sure it was a shocker, but it wasn’t something everyone got all worked up about, except probably the photographers who tailed Yamapi and Mao 90% more. But other than that, it didn’t blow out of proportion and stemmed to mass suicide or anything fatal. As a matter of fact, “shippers” sprung about and proclaimed undying support for the both of them and these shippers are multiplying by the second. It was ridiculous if you think about it, but if you look at it in another way, it was a miracle. A modern day miracle. And it gave hope to every Johnny’s in the business.

Yamapi and Mao continued the drama, as if nothing would hinder them. It was about to wrap up and finish, and it was maintaining at the top spot, still receiving crazy ratings now more than ever. They’ve been asked to do magazine interviews left and right, and to grace the covers together, but they wanted to keep a low profile as much as possible. They haven’t been officially back together yet, but only because of formality. They didn’t know how to take the next step, now that everyone already knew.

One late afternoon, Yamapi and Mao walked out together out of the set on their way home. It was obvious that they were being followed, but then again, they have nothing to hide.

“Do you still want to continue?” Yamapi asked.

“Continue what?”

“You know…part two of our lives.”

“Part two? That’s funny. So there could be a part three too, like a manga?”

“Maybe.”

He reached for her hand and held it as they walked while photographers lurking close by scrambled for a good shot.

“We should get back together now.” Yamapi remarked.

“Nah, let’s wait a while.”

“I’m holding your hand right now. That means we’re back together.”

“No it doesn’t.”

Yamapi pulled her by the hand and kissed her without any warning, and it made the photographers’ day. Mao hit him on the chest and looked around consciously if people were looking.

“Are we back together yet?” he smiled wryly.

“No!” she hissed, distracted by the clicking sounds of the camera.

Yamapi attempted to kiss her again, but then she backed away.

“Alright, alright, we’re back together.” she gave up, holding his face and pushing him away.

And so it seemed they were the new Nagase and Ayumi (back when they were together), what with people following them around, but not because everyone hated them for being together, but it was more of a sight to see—like America’s Angelina and Brad. Yamapi cannot get over the fact that his curse had finally been broken, and that he broke the “rule” of every Johnny’s had to follow. It was hard to believe, but there it was—acceptance. Whatever reason there is, whether they just look good together, or whether it was the influence of their chemistry in the drama, it was uncertain why everyone welcomed their relationship with open arms. But now they know for sure, that they really didn’t have anything to hide all along.


--END--









I send out my gratitude to everyone who read and enjoyed this. Thank you for making my day with your comments and for suppporting YAMAOPI! Keep the Yamaopi fandom alive,ne. I'd also like to acknowledge yamapinku-rabu, because she was the one who got me into writing this fanfic in the first place! It was because of her that I got hooked on Yamaopi. :) I hope I ended the story well, and it has been a great pleasure providing you with Yamapi and Mao goodness. Hopefully I will be able to make another one, because nothing makes me happier than writing and writing for you guys. Honto arigatou and long live Maoness and Yamapiness! :D

With much love,
Roxie <3

I drink to all of you! Cheers! :)

missingY O U

Title: EVERYBODY’S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY HONEY
Starring: Yamashita Tomohisa and Inoue Mao and A LOT of other famous people
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Love/comedy
Disclaimer: No I don’t own Yamapi (though I wish and pray hard I do) or Mao. I am not whatsoever affiliated with JE either. It’s fiction. Look it up in the dictionary.
Chapters: ?

CHAPTER 12

If you’ve broken up with someone you really love, you would know the kind of pain that heartbreak gives. But if you’re not a famous idols or actress who’s forced to break up with someone you’re surely in love with because it is against some kind of rule, then you don’t know jack-diddly squat how that feels like. No question that everything’s been hard for Yamapi and Mao. They had to go and move on in separate ways. There’s a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go. Yamapi went back to performing, forcing himself to smile and sing happily, touring and working as hard as he did before he met Mao. Mao went back to school and never rode the train again, for some obvious reason. Of course, when the time they had to start filming their drama came, they met each other, after a hiatus from seeing each other. They talked on the phone a few times, but it was different facing each other again. One of the phone conversations they had went:

MAO: Hello?
PI: Are you awake?
MAO: No, this is a dream, I’m asleep.
PI: You know, when you’re grumpy and sarcastic, you’re not cute at all.
MAO: [laughs] So how can I be of service to you?
PI: [scoffs] Service? Okay, how much for you to come here, give me an oil massage and then afterwards sleep with me?
MAO: Don’t you have like 10 other girlfriends to do that kind of stuff?
PI: Nah, I don’t want anything. I just called because I want to, before I go to sleep.
MAO: [smiles] I’m glad you did.
PI: So…what’re you wearing now?
MAO: PI!!!
PI: I was joking. Do you miss me?
MAO: What if I tell you I don’t? What would you do?
PI: Nothing. Because I know you do.
MAO: No, I don’t.
PI: Well just so you know, I don’t miss you either.
MAO: [pissed] Bye bye!
PI: Mao-chan. I do miss you. Why else would I call?
MAO: Fine. Me too.
PI: [sneers] You think about me?
MAO: Honestly, I try not to.
PI: Nande, I think about you a lot. Sometimes it’s unpleasantly painful, but other times it calms me. Like talking to you right now, it makes me feel so much better.
MAO: Are you in bed?
PI: Yeah, you?
MAO: Yeah. You better sleep now. You know you need it badly, you’re deprived of it.
PI: Fine, fine. I’m hanging up.
MAO: Goodnight Yamashita-kun.
PI: Don’t call me that.
MAO: Pi-chan then.
PI: Better. Goodnight, Macchan.
MAO: Macchan?
PI: I call you that behind your back.
MAO: Oh. Goodnight…stop thinking about me too much ne.
PI: I’ll try.
MAO: Oh and just for the record…I’m wearing your shirt…ja ne.

That was the last phone call they shared before they saw each other again. And now that they’re facing each other again to work, it felt to Yamapi as if he was in junior high school scenario: when you come face to face with the prettiest girl in school whom you have this major crush on and you don’t know what to say or how to act. He felt as if his manliness was weakened by Mao’s presence. They acted as if they were just good friends, and they were just good friends…in front of the crew and camera, but they both knew there exists an unspoken vulnerability between them, a tension thick in the atmosphere that they might grope at each other and make out in any second.

The kissing scenes were troubling. Not for Yamapi and Mao, but for the crew. At one point, a kissing scene took a staggering 12 takes. Whether Yamapi screwed up on purpose or not, it is not for certain.

“Yamashita-kun! You really had you tongue in there!” the director exclaimed, after yelling cut for the nth time.

“We’re trying to make it look more realistic.”

“I understand but kids will be watching this, please make it more wholesome. Now this time, no more tongue.”

“Hai, sorry director.”

They would re-take the scene again, and Yamapi would “accidentally” slip in the tongue again, and lather, rinse, repeat. It was their only chance to be a “couple” so they took advantage of that chance to make out and act like the couple they want to be. The cast and crew were surprised by their chemistry on set. The director and producers didn’t need to tell them what to do to make the scene more passionate or romantic, believing that they were just extremely good actors. Teppei once asked,

“How long have you been together again?”

Yamapi and Mao looked at each other.

“We broke up.” Mao answered in a hushed voice.

“No way!” Teppei exclaimed, looking surprised.

“Yeah, no way!” Yamapi joined Teppei.

Koichi once visited Mao on the set, and the whole crew and cast got all jumped up about him and Mao, thinking they were dating. This did not make Yamapi happy at all. Mao let Koichi in her dressing room one lunch time, with Koichi bringing her her favorite food, natto. How could she resist. She was so giddy about it too, which even made Yamapi more jealous. Yamapi barged in the dressing room, still in his “motorcycle badass” get-up.

“I thought you have a scene to film.” Mao asked him.

Yamapi eyed Koichi threateningly as he sat down on the couch there.

“Yeah I’m done, and man was it cool riding the motorbike over a high ramp, I felt like Evil Knievel. Have you done that Koichi?”

“No I haven’t.”

“You haven’t either, a stunt double does that for you.” Mao intervened, her mouth full of rice.

Yamapi threw a couch pillow at her.

“Usai! I’m capable enough to do dangerous stuff you know. I know a thing or two about bikes.”

“Koichi-kun does too, ne Koichi-kun? He has a Harley.”

“Ya-ya, I only use it once in a while. I’m not very good with it.”

Yamapi deliberately made a loud gagging sound. What a phony, he thought.

“Nanni?” Mao asked, startled by his muffled gagging sound.

“Nothing.”

“Want some of Koichi-kun’s natto?”

Yamapi shook his head disdainfully.

“Come on, I’ll feed you.” she said, raising her chopsticks.

Yamapi smiled and went over to her, and bent down as she fed him like he was a baby. She patted his head afterwards.

“Kawaii.” she laughed.

Yamapi was called from outside by one of the crew. He stood up and stole a loud kiss on her cheek.

“Yummy!” he said, then ran outside.

Mao smiled as she continued to eat.

“I think it’s alright for you two to get back together.” Koichi commented.

“Nah.” she said, waving him off.

It’s not that she didn’t want to, of course she did. But she knew things are complicated. Their more-than-friends-but-less-than-lovers plan worked out pretty well, but there was always this yearning deep inside.

When came the time for them to promote their ever-so-anticipated drama, to their delight, they were able to spend even more time together, going from place to place together, guesting on shows, press cons, and whatnot. Sure it was tiring, but as long as they side by side, they couldn’t possible complain.

On the show Utaban:
TAKASAN: There are kissing scenes, ne?
PI: Hai.
NAKAI: You haven’t done much kissing scenes, have you?
PI: I’ve done some!
NAKAI: Sure, off-screen maybe.
[laughter]
TAKASAN: Have you done any preparations for the scenes, Mao-chan?
MAO: [looks at Pi] Not really…  LIE.
TAKASAN: So you didn’t practice kissing your hand or something?
MAO: [laughing] Ya….da!
NAKAI: So, who’s it going to be for you? Matsumoto, Yuuta, Eiji, or Yamapi?
TAKASAN: Include me, Hiro-chan.
NAKAI: Uruhe!
MAO: [laughs] I’ll have to pick Taka-san.
PI: Who?!
[Major laughter]
They didn’t know just how anticipated their drama was going to be, until the first episode was aired. It received high ratings; the first episode alone acquired a staggering figure. It could’ve even surpassed HYD’s pilot episode ratings. Was it because MARS was such a hit manga? Maybe. Was it because everyone waned to see Yamapi on a motorbike? Definitely plausible. It is indefinite what drew the audience to it. What’s certain is, their tandem seemed to have sparked a sensation, causing a huge speculation amongst the people who watch TV. It was an epidemic, a craze, a phenomenon, or whatever word fits best for it, it won everyone’s attention and Yamapi and Mao were the “It Boy” and the “It Girl” as if they weren’t “It” already. The center of every meaningful homeroom discussion in schools was them. The main topic in forum threads on the net was them. They were being watched now more than ever, and they didn’t know exactly if it’s a good or bad thing. They didn’t know why the media was so focused on them when a Hikaru Genji member was fired from Johnny’s because of meth use, Erika Sawajiri bitch-slapped someone, Beyonce was in town for a concert, and all the other more significant happenings in Nippon that deserve to be getting attention as well.

One night, after filming, while Mao was changing in her dressing room ready to go home, Yamapi knocked on the door.

“Wait, keep the door closed.” she said, hastily putting on her clothes.

“Why?”

“I’m getting dressed.”

“Why?”

“When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me.”

“Why can’t I go in?”

Mao rolled her eyes and opened the door quickly to let him in.

“What am I, a stranger? Like I haven’t seen you naked before?” he complained.

“It’s different now.”

“Emotionally I’m still your boyfriend. So nothing’s different. I can even close my eyes and picture you naked. See?” he said and closed his eyes.

Mao gaped in horror.

“I can see you naked in my head right now.”

Mao hit him hard on the stomach.

“That’s sick, stop doing that!”

“Listen. Something happened. You do know that people are prying about our lives right? Especially now that our dynamic duo became such a big hit?”

“Yes…”

“Well, people have been trying to dig up stuff about us, so…remember that time when I drove you home, and we exchanged numbers and posed for the security camera in your building?”

“Yes…”

“Well, it’s out, and everyone has seen them by now. And they know it was at your place.”

“Okay…it wasn’t like we were doing anything suspicious at that time, we just met then. So they can’t make conclusions, because there’s no proof.”

“True. But then, lo and behold, our Print Club photo sticker leaked out. How’d that happen?”

Mao’s eyes widened.

“Seriously?” she gasped.

“Someone posted it on the net just today. Hours from now it will be on every tabloid. Where’s your copy of the photo sticker?”

Mao scratched her head and crinkled her nose. She re-traced where she’d gone and what she’s done with the sticker: It was in her wallet, then she took it out when she missed him, then she put it in her pocket when she went to school, and in the middle of a class lecture, she put it on her table, smiling at it the whole time, then she remembered the bell rang and she was in a hurry to get out because she still had filming to do. But she didn’t recall taking back the photo sticker at all. *insert doomed music*

“Oh no I think I left it in the classroom and someone must’ve taken it.” she breathed, and put her hands on her cheeks.

“Why would you take it out?”

“Like you don’t.”

“So what do we do?”

“I don’t know. Say it’s not you in the sticker?”
“Any idiot can tell it’s me. Anyone can tell it’s you too, you had your face unnecessarily close to the camera doing the V sign.”

“Then our career is over.”

“Don’t get all negative.”

“I’m not. I’m panicking.”

“Well there’s no use. We can’t deny those now.”

“We’ll just issue a statement that it was a long time ago and we broke up and we apologize to them?”

“Hell no!”

“Is there another way?”

“There should be. I just don’t know what.”

“Do you think Johnny knows now?”

“Probably.”

“Do you think there’s mass suicide going on as we speak?”

“Let’s not mention suicide for a while and think this through.”

“Wow so this is how it feels like to be in a scandal.”

“Scandal? You think our relationship is a scandal? I treasure that photo sticker and you leave it on your desk. I am so hurt.”

“Let’s just act normal, ne. And if we get mobbed or something outside, then we’ll rethink our next career move.”

“We wouldn’t know, what if they actually accept it? I mean, if they’re so fond of us, they wouldn’t be all against it. Don’t you think?”

Mao and Yamapi pondered and mulled over quietly in the dressing room. The secret’s out but somehow, they weren’t scared or guilty because they never felt as if they had something to hide or to be ashamed of. Not even for a second.

After a long time of just sitting there, thinking and contemplating, Yamapi decided to go out.

“Where are you going?” Mao asked.

“I don’t know. Let out my feelings.”

“Are you scared?”

“Not even a little bit.”

Mao showed a small smile.

“Me too. It’s weird.”

Yamapi smiled in return and went for the door.

“We’re in this together, ne. I won’t leave your side, so you do your best while I do my part too.”

Mao nodded and he was out the door, to the awaiting world.





--END OF TWELFTH CHAPTER--

missingY O U

CHAPTER 11 (PART II)

The News tour bus went straight to the hotel where they were to stay. It was already dark, and most of the people on board were already asleep, including Yamapi. He hadn’t slept properly since the breakup, and being able to sleep that long, strangely put him into a better mood. They were all woken up by the staff, and all were relieved to see Yamapi not grumpy, the way he always is when he’s been woken up by someone.

“I think I forgot her already.” he said confidently, as they boarded off the bus and walked to the hotel, swarmed by the crew and assistants.

“See? Sleep and rest is all you needed.” Ryo said, patting his back.

“Probably.” he replied.

Mao and Koichi arrived in Osaka earlier than they expected, since Koichi’s car broke down along the way and they had to stop at a gas station to have it fixed. Koichi, the cool guy that he is, called up a hotel and made early reservations for two rooms beforehand, so they needn’t worry about where to sleep over. Miraculously, he and Mao arrived just in time for dinner and they planned to have fancy dinner in the restaurant there in the hotel. They checked in to their rooms and changed before going downstairs to have dinner.

“I’ll be down in 5 minutes. You go ahead.” Mao said to him. Koichi went ahead downstairs to the in-house restaurant while Mao got ready. She looked out the window, and pictured Yamapi leaning against it, the way he did the last time she was in a hotel. She quickly erased the image, and went out of the room.

“Pi, we’re hitting the onsen. Their onsen is the best here. You coming?” Koyama invited, wearing a bathrobe already.

“Nah. I think I’ll eat first. I’m hungry.” he replied, and looked for the room service number on the bedside table.

“Alright then.” Koyama said and went out of the room.

Yamapi looked at the menu card beside the phone and took him forever to pick something. He didn’t know why, but every dish on the menu reminded him of Mao, especially ramen. He decided not to eat in the end and follow the guys to the onsen. He put his bathrobe on and went out of the room. He casually walked to the elevators and ran when one of them was about to close.

“Chotto matte!” he said, running to the closing doors.

He was too late, but not too late to catch a glimpse of who was inside—Mao, arms crossed, head tilted upwards. The doors closed before he even realized it was her—or was it just his imagination? He stood there immobile, like a mannequin, unable to decide whether his mind was playing tricks on him or not. He got on the next elevator, still in a daze. No it can’t be, he thought. What’re the odds of that happening. He walked haphazardly to the onsen, his mind in a blur.

“Sorry, did you wait long?” Mao said as she sat down with Koichi. Everyone eating looked elegant, matching the place.

“No, it’s okay.” he said, waving her off.

“It looks expensive here. Well of course, it’s a hotel.” she giggled, looking at the menu.

“People are recognizing you already.” Koichi pointed out, after noticing people constantly turning their heads to Mao’s direction.

“Yeah, they’re probably thinking ‘It’s that Gegege no Kitaro girl.’”

“Wouldn’t they know you more from Hana Yori Dango?”

“Gegege was popular too you know.”

“Speaking of popular, seems like there’s another celebrity here too. A group, I think. People were scrambling in the lobby awhile ago. I didn’t see who they were though.”

“Ooh maybe it’s L’arc~en~ciel or the Hikaru Genji guys. I’d get their autograph.”

They ordered their dinner, and without realizing it, they looked like a couple on a date.

Yamapi’s head was elsewhere again, while they were in the onsen. The guys were talking about dirty and x-rated things as usual, but Yamapi kept quiet the whole time and didn’t join in.

“Pi, you better enjoy this free time we have, because tomorrow is going to be hell.” Ryo said, his wet stringy hair covering his eyes.

“Yeah, I better go up and get some sleep.” he said wearily, and put on his bathrobe.

Tego was about to stop him, but Koyama signaled no, and let Yamapi go. Yamapi couldn’t contain himself and hurried back to the room to change and went downstairs to find out if he’s just really seeing things. He didn’t know why he’s so worked up looking for her; if she was indeed there, why should he care? They weren’t anything anymore, except mere co-workers. He looked for her in the lobby, causing people to gawk and ogle at him. Nope, not there. He headed next to the gift shop, where the cashier there almost fainted at the sight of him. Not there, either. Alas, he proceeded to the restaurant. At first, he had a hard time spotting, since there were a lot of people In the area, but then there she was—sitting prettily, smiling and cutting her food. He was 100% certain it was her, in the flesh and it sent tingly sensations all over his body. It felt like he hasn’t seen her for a long time, he forgot how pretty she looked. But halt! She was not alone. She was with none other than Koichi, on what seemed like a date. His body was telling him to go over there, beat him up, sit in his chair, and sweep Mao off her feet again, but his head was saying to let it go, that she was not his anymore and that she’s clearly happy without him so he had to back off. He felt as if he’s been stabbed in the back and for a split second, he swore he heard his heart crumble to minuscule pieces. He knew his head was way smarter, so he backed off, and left. He had mixed emotions—shocked, angry, disgusted, devastated, sad, crushed, and everything in between. It made him dizzy, he needed fresh air. He went to the pool area, which was a good idea, because it was the only open place where it’s deserted, quiet and breezy. He sat on one of the beach chairs and sat there for a long time, staring at the aquamarine glow of the pool.

“Thank you for dinner. It was oichii.” Mao chirped, as they got up from their seats.

“You better sleep well tonight. Tomorrow we have a full day ahead of us.” Koichi said.

“I’ll call me mother first to let her know where I am. Ugh, there’s no signal here.” she grumbled, frowning at her phone.

“Try outside. The outdoor pool is right that way.”

“Okay, thanks. You go ahead. And goodnight.” she said, and they went separate ways. She walked towards the entrance to the outdoor pool and dialed on her phone.

“Ma? Hello?” she said, as she stepped outside.

“Ma, it’s me. I just called to tell you I’m in Osaka…I’m in a hotel…No, I’m with Koichi…No, he’s a friend…Ma! No! That’s gross, we sleep i separate rooms, God…Just, take care, okay? I’m fine. Goodnight. Send dad some love from me. Ja ne.”

She hung up and shook her head amusedly at her mother. She missed her sorely. She turned to leave, but then…

“You moved on pretty quickly, don’t you think?”

A voice spoke up from the dark, and it caused her to jump back in surprise.

“Heh? Who’s there?” she breathed, squinting her eyes to make out the outline of the person sitting on one of the beach chairs. She came closer and her eyes widened into a big round shape.

“Pi.” she exhaled.

“Kon~ban~wa.” he said, rather casually.

“W-what are you doing here in Osaka?” she stuttered, unable to believe he was right there in front of her.

“Business stuff. What about you?”

“V-vacation…”

“Ah. Good to know you’re enjoying yourself. Good to know you’re in good hands too.”

Mao sighed and rubbed her arms. What a cold night.

“Can I sit here?” she asked.

He scooted aside to make room for her and she sat down beside him.

“Actually I’ve been doing good too. I’ve went to karaokes, and clubs with the guys. We’re touring for a bit and I’m thinking of throwing a party in the hotel room tonight.” Yamapi lied. Mao faked a smile and hung her head. She clasped her hands together and rested her elbows on her knees.

“Honestly…I came here to cheer myself up. I spent days in my house alone, crying and sleeping. In short, crying myself to sleep. I haven’t eaten either. And then, just when I needed someone most, Koichi showed up at my door, and promised to cheer me up. So we came here because being there all alone will just keep reminding me how sad I should be. I’m here to put everything past me.” she said softly, fixating her gaze on the bluish light the pool gave off.

Yamapi heaved a sigh a tousled his hair. There was no use lying.

“Same here. I’m probably doing worse than you. I’m having mood swings, tantrums, hissy fits, sleepless nights, I’m in a Mao withdrawal phase.”

She laughed a little bit. It was like they quit cold turkey and they were both in a withdrawal period.

“I wanted to back out of our drama. I told Johnny.” he said in a hushed tone.

She looked at him, as if taken aback.

“Why? I can’t do kissing scenes with anyone else.”

“Yeah I kind of figured I’d die if I let anyone else kiss you, so I’m still in the game. I signed a contract.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Just admit it. I’m a great kisser and you want more of me.”

“Baka. You’re the only person I can trust to do kissing scenes with me. It has nothing to do with your tongue skills.”

They laughed quietly in unison. They were back to they way they were before they decided to become more than friends. It wasn’t exactly something they wanted to happen, but it was better than having to avoid each other.

“You’re going to be busy ne?” she asked.

“Yeah. We’re only staying here for 1 night. You?”

“At most 2 nights. Then I’m going back to school, then do our drama.”

Yamapi nodded. He was still certain he wasn’t going to school for awhile. He’d have to take special exams. As much as possible, he had to keep a certain distance from her, it was bad enough they were going to be in a drama together.

“Gambatte, Pi.” she said encouragingly.

“Gambatte, Mao-chan.” he repeated.

“Yosh. I’ll see when I see you. Goodnight.” she said, and stood up.

“Mao-chan.”

He stood up and they faced each other.

“Can I hug you? A friendly hug. I think it’ll make me sleep better tonight.”

She was hesitant at first, but she opened her arms wide and he wrapped himself around her, and it was, for them, the most soothing and breathtaking hug they’ve ever had in their life. It felt so good they didn’t let go immediately.

“Goodnight, Pi-chan.” she said.

“Kawaii.” he whispered, and they both smiled as they finally let go.

She began walking back inside.

“Don’t say goodbye.” he called out.

“I won’t.”

Then she was gone.

“I still wont let go.” he said to himself and stared at the spot where she had stood.

--END OF ELEVENTH CHAPTER--

missingY O U

Title: EVERYBODY’S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY HONEY
Starring: Yamashita Tomohisa and Inoue Mao and A LOT of other famous people
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Love/comedy
Disclaimer: No I don’t own Yamapi (though I wish and pray hard I do) or Mao. I am not whatsoever affiliated with JE either. It’s fiction. Look it up in the dictionary.
Chapters: ?

CHAPTER 11 (PART I)

Yamapi came to Johnny hung over, and in an extremely unpleasant mood. It’s the first time in so long that he woke up without a smile on his face. Johnny was expecting him and as Yamapi entered his office, he beckoned him to take a seat. But Yamapi didn’t bother.

“I have good news and bad news for you Johnny-san. I’ll get straight to the point. Good news, we broke up. Bad news, I’m not doing the drama with her anymore. You’ll just have to replace me with someone else because being around her again will make me want to abduct her and never take her back. News is going to tour for awhile around Japan as soon as possible. This is to keep myself busy and preoccupied otherwise I might kill myself. Ja ne, and thank you so much for the good advice you gave me.” the last bit was a sarcastic one, and without delay, he bowed and left the office before he starts choking his creator.

Johnny was left quite bewildered and stunned. But he figured the break-up didn’t go well, and the kid was restraining himself from making an outburst in front of him. And he was right, the break-up didn’t go well. Yamapi came home severely drunk the previous night and caused chaos in front of Takki, News, and Akanishi. His friends had to carry him home and it didn’t end there—he trashed the kitchen looking for more alcohol, locked himself in the bathroom while throwing up, and then taking a bath with all his clothes still on. He was rather violent when his friends tried to control him, and at one point, even pushed Takki, his father figure. Yamapi was on the verge of insanity, and he didn’t know quite what to do next, it was as if he couldn’t function—he wasn’t himself at all and his members are extremely worried.

“Are you sure you can do well?” Ryo had asked him.

“I’m a pro.” was all Yamapi could answer.

And he was. But being one doesn’t necessarily mean being prone to post-breakup syndrome. He was crankier, meaner, more aloof, and strangely, became more sarcastic, which used to be Ryo’s specialty only. Yamapi decided to busy himself with work, instead of sulking in his house with Akanishi, staring at Mao’s pictures in his phone. He agreed to have a mini tour with news all over the country promoting, performing, and holding fan meetings. He thought it would be a way to get her off his mind, but no matter how hard he concentrated, her face keeps popping out in his head every 5 seconds. This was what drove him crazy. He decided not to go back to school too, not until he is able to muster the strength to move one. Though he wanted to forget her, he didn’t erase anything associated with her from his life. Like their pictures in his phone (which were mostly of them kissing), their Print Club photo sticker, her valentine letter, or the receipt from their first date. It never crossed his mind to throw all those away, not even once. Mao, unbeknownst to Yamapi, is doing just as horribly as he was. She stayed in bed the whole time in her bathrobe, doing nothing except eat ice cream and watch re-runs of animes. She missed school, and ignored the tons of calls and messages from her friends, including Koichi. She did not talk to anyone at all, not even Hug-chan. One time, she was surfing through the channels on TV, and caught accidentally landed on one where News’ Hoshi wo Mezashite music video was playing, and it was just in time for Yamapi’s solo part. Before she even knew it, she reduced to tears. The days following their tragic breakup were harder than anyone can imagine. It was only a few couple of days, but for the both of them, they were excruciating and torture, that felt as if it would last and linger for a long time. Yamapi stirred great worry by demonstrating odd behaviors. Each day he would have a different attitude, which would change into something else the following day. It scared his friends to death.

Behavior 1: Emo Yamapi
Yamapi sits in a corner, head hung low, listening to his iPod. Tego comes over and tried to make small talk to see if he was still alive.
TEGO: What’re you listening to?
PI: Michael Jackson
TEGO: Eh? What song?
PI: She’s out of my life.
TEGO: Oh I see. Is it nice?
PI: [death glare] No, it’s not. It’s an utterly depressing song that talks about a girl leaving him with nothing, making him feel he’s been cut by a knife. He let her slip away from his hands and now the way that it stands she’s out of his life. So no, Tego, it’s not nice. Leave me alone.

Behavior 2: Mean Yamapi
SHIGE: Is it okay for you to tour like this?
PI: Like what?
SHIGE: You’re not the way, you know, you used to be.
PI: Well you’re not the way you used to be either. You’re uglier now.
KOYAMA: Pi! That was a bit too much.
PI: Sure, take his side, you always do because you two stick together all the time. Why don’t you two just get married.
RYO: We’re just concerned for you, dude.
PI: Yeah, sure. Be quiet and go back to your other group.

Behavior 3: Fanboy Yamapi
PI: I’m going out.
JIN: Where?
PI: I’m buying something.
JIN: Can you buy me root beer?
PI: No.
JIN: What’re you buying?
PI: Hana Yori Dango DVD set.
JIN: Heh? @_@
PI: You better be out of the living room when I get back, I’m having a DVD marathon.

As Yamapi continued to portray different shades of personalities, Mao remained indoors, on the brink of turning into a hermit. After her daily routine of watching anime re-runs in the early hours of morning, someone knocked on the door. Her heart pounded for some reason and she half-hoped it was Yamapi. She sprinted to the door to see who it was. It was Koichi, to her surprise.

“Koichi-kun.” she said, embarrassed and surprised at the same time.

He looked at her as if he hasn’t seen her in years.

“Sorry for this sudden visit. You weren’t answering your phone, so I was a bit worried.” he said.

She let him in, even though the whole house looked like a catastrophic mess.

“Gomen ne. I’ve been… busy.” she lied. But she knew Koichi was too smart to buy that.

He saw all the tissues and tissue boxes on the floor and all over the couch, and there was even an empty ice cream box too, and everyone knew ice cream was the universal comfort/breakup food. He looked at her worn out and sleepless face and he knew right away.

“You and Yamashita-san…”

“Yeah, we did.” she cut him off, smiling awkwardly.

He nodded sympathetically.

“Sorry. Do you…want to talk about it?” he asked.

That was the last thing she wanted to do.

“No, no it’s fine. I’ll get by.” she said optimistically.

“You need cheering up.” he smiled, taking something out of his bag. He reached for a big envelope and handed it to her.

“What’s this?” she asked, opening it.

“Your pictures. They came out so good, I thought I’d let you see them.”

They were good indeed. Mao hasn’t seen such beautiful pictures of her like that before, not even in her photobooks. She was thoroughly impressed, especially by the photo of her where she was against the sunlight, turning her head towards the camera.

“These are seriously good. You’re very skilled.” she told him, awestruck at each of the photos.

“My teacher gave me the highest remark in class for them.”

“Really? That’s awesome.” she said, and handed them back to him.

“No, they’re yours.”

“Oh. Thanks. I hope I could hire you for my next photobook.”

They sat at the dining table, where there were less crumpled up tissues.

“Mao-chan. I know you’re not the type who would share your sadness to people. You’re the kind who doesn’t display your emotional side, so as not to affect anyone else. You hide it, thinking that the pain would go away faster, but I’ve been there, and it doesn’t work that way.”

He had a point. Everything that ever came out of Koichi’s mouth made perfectly good sense, and she knows it. She laughed quietly, the way she always did when she’s embarrassed, amused or uncomfortable.

“You seem to know me more than I know myself.” she chuckled.

“You need to get away. From here. Take a vacation somewhere.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah.”

“Ooh that’s a good idea. I’d like that. I’m tired of crying. Sooner or later I’m going to have to get out.”

“Exactly.”

“Where should we go?”

We, Koichi thought.

“W-wait, I’m coming too?”
Mao grinned warmly. She’s been severely lonely for the past few days, a little company could cheer her up.

“Yeah, the two of us. Unless, you don’t want to.”

“No, no. I’d like to.”

Koichi felt ecstatic about the idea, but he knew he had no shot at her. Even though she might never be with him, he would still be there, to accompany her and just be a friend.

“Where should we go then?” he asked.

“Anywhere but Kyoto.” she mumbled.

“Okinawa then?”

“No, not Okinawa either.”

“Osaka?”

“Osaka sounds good. We can do a photobook shoot there, ne?”

“Yeah, we could. Let’s go to Osaka then.”

“What about school?”

“I think it’s okay, if the excuse is important.”

They laughed together, and it was then that she realized she hasn’t laughed in a long time. Maybe this trip could help her move on. Maybe Koichi’s company could too. Maybe.

“What do you mean, I can’t quit? They told me at the last minute, I don’t see why my last minute back out is unacceptable.” Yamapi argued on the phone with his manager.

“You already signed a contract. You can’t back out now. You will just have to continue with the drama.”

“But I can’t. I can’t stand the girl I’m working with.”

“Then don’t talk to her unless it’s a scene. f it’s not As long as it’s not Erika Sawajiri you’re working with, then you’re fine.”

“You don’t understand. I just can’t work with her.”

“You are a professional. Please find a way to deal with this.”

His manager hung up on him which caused him to get into a scary hissy fit. He can already picture it: a scene with Mao, where he messes up his lines from staring at her too much, or in a kissing scene, where he turned it into an X-rated one because he can’t control himself, or the breaks between takes where they don’t talk at all, and just stand there awkwardly, avoiding each other’s eyes. It would drive him completely nuts.

TEGO: Shige, call Pi, we’re about to leave.
SHIGE: Why me? He’ll yell at me again.
TEGO: You’re the underdog here. Do it.
SHIGE: No.
TEGO: We’re going to be late for the tour damn it.
SHIGE: Let Ryo do it. Ryo eats babies for breakfast, Ryo makes grown men cry, let him do it.
RYO: Pi-chan! Let’s go, the bus is waiting!

Yamapi cringed.

“Don’t call me that!” he snapped.

They began their journey full of hope—the other 5 members of News hoping Yamapi doesn’t kill them off one by one, and Yamapi hoping he can get rid of his feelings for her the way he did for his past girlfriends. Massu turned on the TV in their tour bus, and surprise, surprise, a music video greeted them—Oda Kazumasa’s Kokoro, where Mao portrays a bride. Ryo immediately threw his cap at Massu, signaling him to turn it off, which Massu understood immediately. Everyone got uncomfortably quiet for a moment, wondering when Yamapi will cause havoc. Surprisingly, he didn’t. He acted all cool and passive, convincing himself not to be affected anymore.

“Are you all set?” Koichi asked.

“Yep, let’s go.” Mao said, carrying a bag.

They exited the building, and went on their own journey. Not long ago she went on a roadtrip, but it was to a different place, and with a totally different person. If Koichi did all this effort to help her, the she would do her part as well, and do her best to be happy again.

missingY O U

Title: EVERYBODY’S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY HONEY
Starring: Yamashita Tomohisa and Inoue Mao and A LOT of other famous people
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Love/comedy
Disclaimer: No I don’t own Yamapi (though I wish and pray hard I do) or Mao. I am not whatsoever affiliated with JE either. It’s fiction. Look it up in the dictionary.
Chapters: ?


CHAPTER 10

Mao wasn’t sure if she really slept soundly through the night. She was sure she was awake when she heard Yamapi talking discreetly on his phone and she didn’t know is she slept after that. It got her thinking after hearing him say the words photographers, Johnny, and quitting. She squirmed under his arms and opened her eyes to see that it was about to be morning. It was minutes before the actually sunrise. She looked at him, who was peacefully asleep. She searched under the covers for her clothes but she only found his shirt, so she slipped it on her. For no apparent reason, she crawled under the covers to get out of bed. She then reached the floor and got on all fours looking for the missing pieces of her clothes. After she was able to collect everything, she saw his phone lying on the floor. She opened it and looked for Akanishi’s number. She peered at Yamapi to make sure he was still asleep before copying Akanishi’s number to her phone.

“I knew something was wrong.” she whispered to herself after successfully saving it to her phone.

She sat on the floor, thinking about Yamapi. It was clear that he had a problem, and his problem was her problem too. Why didn’t he tell me something was wrong? she thought, biting her nails. She needed to know what was really happening, so she opened her phone and attempted to dial for Akanishi, but then…

“Oi.” Yamapi said, sitting up, with a massive bed head.

Mao covered her legs immediately, since she hasn’t really put on her clothes yet and was only wearing his big shirt.

“Don’t look!” she cried, covering herself.

Yamapi arched his eyebrows and peeked at her.

“I’ve seen you a lot more naked than that last night.” he pointed out, scowling.

“That was last night. What happens at night stays…in the night. Now close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Just close them”

“Fine, fine.”

Yamapi closed his eyes obediently before she turned around and speedily put on her clothes piece by piece. When she was almost done, she turned to him to make sure he was still closing his eyes but when she did, he was looking at her, with his head tilting to the side.

“Aaaahh!” she yelled and threw a slipper at him, which he easily dodged.

“You pervert!” she snapped, after successfully pulling her shorts up.

Yamapi had to laugh as he got out of bed and walked towards her.

“Then you slept with a pervert last night.” he said, yawning.

“Pervert boyfriend.” she told him.

“What’s so wrong? I already know every inch of you too well, we did it twi—“

She put her hand over his mouth.

“Okay, enough.” she said.

“Last night was special. We celebrated all your favorite holidays together.” he said, putting his hands on her face.

“We didn’t celebrate Christmas.”

“Yes we did.”

“No we didn’t. We stopped at Valentines.”

“No, no. We celebrated Christmas after that. We celebrated it twice, if I remember correctly.” Yamapi said with a boyish grin and Mao hit his stomach.

“Merry Christmas.” he whispered and hugged her.

She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

“Pi…why did you bring me here and celebrate holidays? Is it because there’s a problem and you’re running away from it?”

“No.”

She fastened her arms around his waist tightly.

“I there’s a problem you’d tell me right? You won’t shoulder it all by yourself right?”

Yamapi nodded.

Mao prevented herself from shedding tears, because she knew he was lying.

They headed back early, because Yamapi wanted to meet with News and discuss something. Mao had a feeling she knew what it would be about. The whole car ride home she was unusually quiet and absent-minded. She was in the car with him, but her mind was elsewhere. She pretended to sleep too, but she was just really thinking of a way to help him deal with whatever it was that was troubling him. When they got back to the city, he dropped her off and told her he’d come by late at night. Yamapi noticed a couple of photographers lurking nearby again when he drove off. As he passed by them, he gave them the finger before speeding off. Mao sat in her living room and stayed still for a couple of minutes. She was still wearing his shirt, because he had insisted on her keeping it. She smelled it and it smelled exactly like him, it was as if he was wrapped around her. Se opened her phone and began pressing. She held it to her ear with a worried look on her face.

“Hello?” the voice on the other line said.

“Akanishi-san. This is Inoue Mao. I don’t know if Pi mentioned—“

“Yeah Pi mentioned you. In fact you’re all he talks about.”

She paused and smiled softly.

“Sorry. Are you busy?” she asked.

“No…why?”

“I need to talk to you. It’s about Yamapi. It’s kind of important.”

“Wait, is this about his ex girlfriends, because I only know 6 of them I have no idea about the—“

“No, no. It’s something else.”

“Oh. Okay then. I guess I can meet you.”

“Right. Don’t tell Pi about this.”

“Got it.”

They decided to meet where she and Yamapi first studied together, in the mini park near the TBS building. Akanishi would be the answer to Mao’s questions and he was the key to the solution of their plight. Mao arrived first, and Akanishi, who is rarely on time when it comes to meetings, only came after a good five minutes after the allotted time. He hot out of his car looking either tired or hung over, but it didn’t matter which, since he’s always both. It was their first meeting, so they exchanged polite greetings and bowed courteously.

“Thank you for coming.” she said as they sat at a mushroom table.

“No problem. What is this about?”

Mao decided not to beat around the bush and be straight to the point.

“We’ve been found out right, Yamapi and I? Johnny-san found out and he wants him to stop seeing me right?”

Akanishi didn’t want to be blunt, but he had no choice but to be honest with his beast friend’s girlfriend.

“Yeah. That’s about right.”

“Yamapi wants to go against his wishes. Truth be told, I don’t want to give in either. His personal life has nothing to do with his career.”

“The rule does suck, and the system is a bit harsh but I guess it’s also for our own good. Look, Mao-chan, I am not against you or your relationship with Pi. I’ve never seen him this happy and….weird. But HE is a scary place. In JE, we have to make certain sacrifices. We can’t just act as we please, because we are under a microscope. People are scrutinizing us and we to live up to the image they have for us.”

Mao fiddled with her fingers and shifted in her seat.

“What happens if…if he defies Johnny? What will happen if he continues to be with me even though the whole world already knows?”

“I don’t really know, but I’m sure it will not be good. The least I can say is that there’s a possibility there will be mass suicide. If Pi ever decides to quit JE…” his voice trailed off, as if he was afraid to continue his sentence.

Mao looked at him, waiting for a flicker of hope in his next words. But it seemed as if the more he talked, the more she lost hope.

“Pi can’t quit. At least we can’t let him. He’s been in JE for most of his life, I mean, it’s his home. It’s our home. That home made him and he can’t just abandon it. If he leaves, he has nowhere else to go.”

Mao cast her gaze down. Which would Yamapi choose to leave: his home for most of his life that made him big, or her, whom he only knew for a couple of months. The question sounded ridiculous in her head, she wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.

“Of course he won’t leave. I won’t let him either.” she said quietly. She wasn’t a selfish person, she didn’t want him to ruin his career for her.

“Mao-chan. Please understand that I’m not trying to keep him away from you. I personally want you two to get married someday. Someday. But as for now, the two of you are vulnerable to the media. You are one of the most respected actresses today and Pi is considered as a demigod in the whole country. Now that some sleazy tabloid reporters know, this thing is going to blow up soon if you two continue to be seen together.”

Mao smiled at him, but he could tell through her eyes that smile wasn’t a happy one.

“You are a good friend. I’m glad Pi has someone like you, who is very concerned about him. Thank you, Akanishi-san.” she said feebly.

“Uhm…what’re you going to do now?”

“I guess I’m going to do what’s good for everybody.”

Akanishi looked at her, knowing what she was implying.

“And by that, you also mean nobody gets hurt in the end right?” he asked, worried about her and his best friend.

“Sacrifices always involve pain, ne?” she said, rather casually, covering up the pain that was slowly building up inside her chest.

Akanishi showed a small assuring smile.

“You two will go far. It would be like pausing a CD. If you can put everything on pause now and wait for the perfect time, in the future, you can press play and continue where you left off.” he said, trying to draw a silver lining for her.

She let out a tiny laugh. Akanishi had never heard the saddest laugh in his life until now.

“Actually I’ve noticed he’s been troubled lately. He didn’t tell me about Johnny or the pictures or anything. He’s been facing this alone without telling me. I have to end this for him. He’s been pressured enough.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“If he’s at stake, I’ll do anything.”

He looked at her in admiration. No wonder Yamapi was so head over heels for her, he thought.

“I’m sorry this has to happen to you.” he said consolably.

“It has to happen sooner or later, ne. Akanishi-san, honto arigatou for being here. I’m going to be able to save him now.” she said, half-laughing. They stood up and shook hands.

“Mao-chan. Thank you. Please take care.” he said sincerely.

Her lips curled into a smile, a beautiful yet heartbreaking smile. Mao got into her car and went back home, where she curled up in her bed for a long time. Yesterday she was blissful. They both were. It seemed as if they were going to stay like that forever but as it turned out, their happiness would be short-lived, just like Yamapi said about his curse. She didn’t realize that she’s been in bed for the whole day thinking about him and how she would tell him. She hasn’t eaten lunch (and after she realized it was dark already) and dinner as well. You can do this, Mao, she told herself. You’re an actress, you’re a pro, you can do this. She already promised herself she would not cry—it would only make her feel worse. She practiced the scene in her head over and over again and tried to control the tears. She wasn’t doing such a good job at that. She made a mental list of Yamapi’s negatives, like, he’s kind of a pervert, that he’s cranky in the morning and that he pinches her a lot. It was so that she wouldn’t get too depressed at the idea of losing him. But no matter how hard she tried to make the list long, she was still pained and if possible, grew more and more depressed. She looked in the mirror and fixed her hair.

“Do it for Pi-chan.” she said aloud, trying to cheer herself up. Just then, a knock came on the door. She braced herself and went to get it.

“Whoa. You look pale.” Yamapi said to her as she opened the door. She quickly touched her face and fanned herself.

“Really? I must’ve overslept or something.”

Yamapi touched her forehead, and the warmth of his hand on her skin made it harder for her than it already is.

“I have to go to the bathroom. Sit down, we have to talk.” she said then sprinted to the bathroom. She turned on the faucet and splashed water on her face sloppily.

“Daijoubu, daijoubu. It will be just like taking off a band-aid. Quick and painful.” she told herself, blinking away the water and the tears that came too early.

She rubbed a towel on her face viciously and went out. He was seated at the dining table, and she slowly walked towards him. She had to start acting now.

“Pi-chan.” she said as she sat with him.

“Nanni?”

“Uhm… my manager called today. And it looks like she found out about us. Someone had told her, and she asked me if it was true…and I said yes.” she began, sounding calm and nonchalant. Yamapi listened intently.

“And she said that, even though she is not against it, she advises me that it’s not a good idea to be dating co-stars now at this point in my career, because as it turns out…I’m one of the most eligible actresses today. So…I should live up to that title.” she paused for a moment, trying to recall the next line that she had practiced in her head.

“You are also in the same situation as me, ne. So the two of us are clearly a disaster waiting to happen. It dawned on me this afternoon while I thought about what my manager said, that I think it’s good for us to…break up.” she finally said the main line, but she felt as if the hard part was yet to come. Yamapi stared and blinked.

“Nanni?” he simply asked.

“Break up.”

Yamapi scoffed at her but she remained timid, showing no signs that she was joking.

“Are you serious?”

“I thought about it the whole day. You aren’t allowed to date and I am strictly advised to focus on my career just like you, and I’m a pro, Pi. I think the right thing to do is put our careers first more than anything. What we have now…an wait—“

Yamapi got up from his seat and held her face.

“Mao-chan, you’re joking ne? You’re trying to put a mean prank on me because I didn’t close my eyes while you were getting dressed, ne?”

Mao closed her eyes and felt the tears coming. She had to keep calm and maintain her pace.

“Pi, I’m sorry for this outburst. But actually I’ve been contemplating about this for a while now—“

“What’re you saying?! Are you trying to fool me?”

“No!”

“What’re you trying to do?”

“I’m trying to save us.”

“Save? From who? From what?”

Mao stood up and faced him.

“I know we’ve been found out. And I know Johnny probably already knows too. Things are going to get worse of we don’t end this.”

“Would you listen to yourself? Whatever happened to that ‘I don’t want to go’ and ‘Stay by my side always’? Were they all lies?”

No, they were the real more than you’ll ever know, she thought.

“Are they lies?” he repeated.

“Yes, they were lies.” she replied, looking away.

“What else weren’t true? When you said you liked me, that wasn’t true either?”

“That was true. But things have happened and we have to think rationally.”

Yamapi grabbed her wrists and held them tight.

“Do you love me?” he asked.

God, no, please not that question, she thought. Tears began flowing uncontrollably and it streamed down like waterfalls on her cheeks. She didn’t look at him.

“No I don’t.” she whimpered, averting her eyes away from his.

“You’re lying. You’re just saying that to make it easier for me to let go of you but I’m not letting go.”

“No, Pi, I’m not lying.” she simpered, but she knows she was. It was the biggest lie she’s ever told to anybody face to face.

“Yes you are!”

She tried to break free from his grip.

“No, let me go!” she retorted.

He grabbed her into a tight embrace. So tight it was enough to cut off her blood circulation.

“No I’m never letting go.” he said, not understanding everything. His face was hot and his hands were ice cold. Mao sobbed harder in his embrace, though she didn’t hug him back. It wouldn’t make things easier. She tried to compose herself and get back to acting.

“I lied about Koichi.” she said flatly, blinded by the remaining tears on her eyelashes.

Yamapi slowly loosened his hug but still held on to her. Mao looked at him straight in the eye this time, even though it was extremely painstaking.

“When he confessed to me I realized I like him too. I was confused at first and tried to ignore it. But now it’s clear to me.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I figured being with him would be less of a hassle. And pressure-free—“

“Please don’t say things like that.”

“Pi. These past few weeks were great. But we have to grow up and open our eyes. Maybe we’re not really meant to be together.”

Yamapi rubbed his face and ran his fingers violently through his hair.

“Is this what you really want? To hurt me?”

“No, Pi, I don’t mean to hurt you.”

Mao went to her room to retrieve something form her drawer and took it to him—it was the lavender flower that Koichi had given her.

“See this? This is the flower Koichi gave me when he confessed. If it didn’t mean anything to me I wouldn’t keep it.” she said, showing the flower on her palm.

Yamapi took one look at it then sat at where he had seated a while ago. Mo followed him and stood in front him. He looked up at her, before burying his face on her stomach and hugging her waist.

“Even after you’ve said all those things I still don’t want to let you go.” he said, restraining himself from crying.

I don’t want to either, she thought, tears coming out again. She gently slid his arms off her waist and pulled him up.

“You have to go now.” she said through hot, stinging tears.

She realized he had tears streaming down his face as well, and it made her chest want to burst with pain. He held her face again, and slowly leaned in, until their lips touched. He kissed her as tears continued to roll down, but right before she was tempted to kiss him back, she stopped him.

“No, Pi.” she whispered, controlling herself from blubbering. She held his hand and led him to the door.

“Goodbye.” she said, and saying that one simple word made her want to crumble and die.

She opened the door as he slowly walked out, but not letting go of her hand. She tried to pull it back.

“Please. Go home.” she said between sobs. By this time, she was hysterically weeping.

She pulled her hand back, and closed the door and locked it. She buried her wet face into her hands, slid to the floor and cried as quietly as she could. Yamapi stayed on the spot where she had left him at the other side of the door, immobile. He leaned his head on the door.

“I know you can hear me so listen up. Don’t try to be the hero. If you think that you’re saving me for doing this, you’re wrong. I know you were forced to do this.—“

Mao continued to wail silently, hugging her legs on the floor.

“—If you don’t know how much I care about you, how much I think about you then you don’t know anything. By doing this, you’re throwing away the best damn thing that ever happened to me!” he yelled, hitting the door hard with his fist.

Mao closed her eyes and leaned against the door, all curled up.

“You’ll see what a big mistake this is.” he said darkly and marched off.

She heard his footsteps fading away, and even until he left, she continued to cry. She was weak, dazed and lightheaded all at the same time from everything, and all she could do was cry. She even cried herself to sleep that night, hugging his shirt like a safety blanket.

--END OF TENTH CHAPTER--

missingY O U

Title: EVERYBODY’S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY HONEY
Starring: Yamashita Tomohisa and Inoue Mao and A LOT of other famous people
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Love/comedy
Disclaimer: No I don’t own Yamapi (though I wish and pray hard I do) or Mao. I am not whatsoever affiliated with JE either. It’s fiction. Look it up in the dictionary.
Chapters: ?

CHAPTER 9

Johnny sat down in front of Yamapi with a cigar between his lips. He was old indeed, but he still had that perpetual intimidating aura that all that juniors feared and respected at the same time. Yamapi sat timidly in his huge modernly-designed office. It was cold and the eerie silence was deafening. He knew what was coming, so he wasn’t nervous or scared. However, he was a bit surprised at how fast news traveled. Yamapi clenched his fists and showed no fear. Johnny put the pictures of Yamapi entering Mao’s building at night and another one of him leaving the next morning. Yamapi caught a glance of it and had to laugh in his head. These photographers need a life, he thought.

“I was able to negotiate with the publishers. They weren’t exactly eager and easy to talk to, but I had my way.” Johnny said calmly, his vice husky and low.

He almost sounded like the Godfather. He puffed another puff from his cigar.

“Who is she?” he asked.

“Inoue Mao.”

“Ah. The actress.”

“Right.”

Johnny leaned back in his armchair leisurely.

“Even though I stopped the tabloids from printing these pictures, they will not discontinue their plot. The word is out, and you will see that everyone will be watching your every move. Including hers. When another picture or rumor comes out, I will not be able to prevent it anymore. Do you understand?” he explained in a mild tone.

Yamapi nodded.

“News is at its height of success today. I’m happy about that. Are you?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Then I want you to enjoy and cherish this time of your life. This is an opportunity that will simply not happen to everyone. You are on top. You are young, popular, and successful. This is the time in your life where’ you’re supposed to be focused on yourself and your career, while you still have it all.”

“With all due respect Johnny-san, my world does not revolve around my profession alone. I love it, and I am grateful but I also like a normal life where I can be with a girl I like, like all the other normal guys in the world.”

“Yes I understand that. But the public doesn’t. You are not just normal for them, and it’s true. They demand perfection. They don’t want to see flaws. You hold an image that everyone fawns over, and they put you on a pedestal. You do not want to throw that away. You did not enter here to disappoint people who loved you and supported you while you climbed your way up.”

Yamapi watched the cigar smoke billow as he thought of a good comeback.

“You’re young. You have all the time in the world to be with the person you like. But for now, the only time you have is for yourself and for the world. A little soon, when you’re older perhaps and graduated from News, you can do anything you wish. That is the perfect time, because you have already done everything.”

There is no way out, Yamapi thought. He didn’t want to be dictated and manipulated again, especially this time. He didn’t want to be defeated.

“I can’t break up with her.” he spoke up, mustering all the courage he had in him.

Johnny merely looked at him, placed his cigar neatly on the ashtray, then leaned back comfortably in his leather armchair.

“You are aware that you could not only be jeopardizing your own career, but your band members’ as well? You are a big part of the group.”

Yamapi didn’t really think about that. He didn’t want the whole News to get dragged down with him. This time he didn’t have an answer in mind.

“You’re a smart boy. You’ll think this through. I’ll give you at least two days to clear your head. After which, you can come back to me and tell me what you really want out of this business.” Johnny said nonchalantly in a final tone of voice.

Yamapi knew that the conversation was done, and he had to leave. Leave, he thought. The word echoed in his head like a foghorn. he got inside his car and drove beyond the legal speed limit. His head was all mixed with different thoughts; thoughts he couldn’t comprehend and make out. He had no idea what was going to be his next step, even though he knew that time will come eventually, only it came earlier than expected. He barged into his house, skimmed through his closet and grabbed a few clothes. He paced it in a bag and left a note for Akanishi on the mirror saying he was going away for a while. He then hurried back to his car with his stuff and called up Mao.

“Hello?”

“Mao-chan? Are you at home?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Pack your stuff. We’re going somewhere.”

“Heh? Now?”

“Yeah.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know yet. Just bring only a few stuff, ne.”

“But why are we going so suddenly?”

“You are very inquisitive. Enjoy a little mystery from time to time. Hurry up I’m on my way.”

He hung up before she could ask more questions. I will not falter, he said to himself. He needed a break, and he needed to get away for a while. I have a right to enjoy life the way I want it, damn it, he added. He arrived at Mao’s place in a snap, and she was already waiting outside with her stuff. She got in looking confused.

“What’s happening?” she asked.

“We’re celebrating holidays.”

“Heh? Holidays? There’s no holiday today.”

Yamapi stepped on the gas and began their road trip to nowhere. He was still deciding whether to go to Osaka or Kyoto.

“What are your favorite holidays?” he asked.

The strangeness of his behavior still startled her, but then again, he was an impulsive person.

“Hmm. I like Christmas of course. Uhm… Valentines too. My birthday, and then New Year.”

“Yosh. Then we’ll celebrate all of those holidays today.”

“Eh? Nande?”
“Why, would you rather stay with Koichi, because I can just drop you off there.”

“No, no I’m fine.” she said, patting his arm.

Something is definitely fishy, she thought, but shrugged aside the thought. The whole ride they had the radio on full blast , singing along to songs of Ayumi Hamasaki, Morning Musume, Orange Range, GReeeN, etc. When News’ single Weeeek came up, Mao jokingly covered her ears and switched it to another radio station. Yamapi laughed and hit her head playfully. They made a stopover at a store where Mao bought lots of food (and candies) and Yamapi bought a few packs of fireworks. They played like kids while shopping—Mao jumping into the shopping cart and Yamapi pushing her through the aisles while she says “Faster! Faster!” When their joyride continued, Mao fell asleep, tired from all the playing and singing. Yamapi felt a little lonely with her sleeping so he kept singing on his own.

They ended up somewhere in the Kyoto Prefecture. It was a part where it wasn’t exactly deserted, but it was surely a peaceful and quiet part. There were establishments and buildings, which looked just like the ones in Osaka. He felt comfortable with the place so he decided to stay there. He found a small but decent-looking hotel (not a motel, mind you) and parked in front of it.

“Mao-chan. Wake up.” he said.

Mao stretched and yawned and looked out the window.

“Where are we?”

“Kyoto Prefecture. Come on.”

The got off, bringing and carrying everything. They checked in and the concierge gave them a room with one bed (they totally didn’t ask for it). When they went up to their room, Yamapi raided the mini bar and Mao checked the view from the window.

“Oh! Champagne!” Yamapi cried, sticking his head inside the mini bar.

“That’s probably an expensive one don’t touch that.” she said.

“Ne, let’s celebrate New Year first.” he said excitedly, rummaging through the shopping bags.

“Where are we supposed to do the fireworks?”

“They have a rooftop. There’s a pool thee too.”

It was perfect. It was early in the evening. The fireworks would light up the dark sky beautifully. They went to the rooftop wearing shorts and thick jackets. They jumped up and down as soon as they got up because of the stinging cold wind.

“Hurry, hurry.” Mao urged him, as he hastily lit the fireworks one by one. He ran far from it as soon as he was done lighting them and he and Mao covered their ears.

“Countdown. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5…”

“…4, 3, 2, 1...”

The fireworks set off, like mini space shuttles shooting up the sky and bursting into beautiful beads of light. One sparked after another, embedding the sky with diamond-like sparkles.

“Happy new year!” they greeted each other and hugged while jumping and bouncing.

“Sugoi.” Mao yelled amidst the cracking sounds of the fireworks.

“What’s your resolution?” he asked.

“To get inside from the cold.”

“Okay.”

They hurried back inside before any of the caught a cold. They held hands as they walked their way back to their room.

“It was nice, ne?” Yamapi said in a cutesy voice.

“Hai, hai, I liked it Pi-chan.” she chirped and tiptoed to give him a quick kiss.

“Yosh. Let’s celebrate your birthday next.” he said.

They went back to their room and sat on the bed with candies and junkfood before them.

“This is such an unhealthy birthday.” he said, looking at all the candy she bought.

“This is my fantasy birthday party. With candy and junkfood.” she chirruped, and put a lollipop in her mouth.

“You’re really still a kid.”

“Where’s my birthday present?” she demanded, extending her hand to him, palm facing up. Yamapi grabbed it and kissed it.

“Eh? None?”

“That was my gift. A kiss.”

“You suck.”

“Ah. Chotto matte.”

Yamapi got up, took something from a shopping bag and ran to the bathroom. Mao laughed.

“Eh? Is this the perfect time to take a dump?”

Seconds later, Yamapi came out holding a nig cupcake with yummy-looking icing and a small candle on it. He jumped on the bed and held it before her.

“Kyaaa I have a cake.” she squealed.

“Make a wish.”

Mao closed her eyes and opened them after a long time.

“That was a long wish.”

“I had to be specific.”

“Blow it.”

“Aren’t you going to sing?”

“Do I have to?”

“Of course. It’s not a birthday without the singing.”

Yamapi reluctantly sang the birthday song while Mao looked at him amusedly.

“Okay, now blow the candle.” he said after his song.

Mao grinned and blew the candle.

“Kawaii! Now eat it before I do.” he said, handing the cupcake to her. He took the lollipop from her mouth and put it in his.

“Oichi!” she said after taking a bite.

They devoured on candies until their stomach and teeth ached. It was more like they went trick or treating than celebrating a birthday. Yamapi lied down on the bed while Mao rested her head on his stomach.. They were half in pain, half in sugar rush.

“I want a letter for valentines.” she said.

“I’m bad at writing letters.”

“Come on. I’ll write you one too.”

“Okay.”

They lazily got up and each picked their corner in the room to write each other a letter. They were quiet and busy on their own for a long time, putting a lot of effort and thought into their rather fake Valentine letter.

“I’m ready when you are.” Mao said after what seemed like forever.

“I’m done.”

They sat on the bed again, holding their letters.

“Hai. Let’s switch.” she said, and they exchanged, and began reading silently, their backs turned to each other. Yamapi sat up and walked towards the window. Mao’s letter for him went:

Pi-chan! ^_^

Happy Valentines! <3 Although it’s not really Valentines I want to say that I like you. But you probably know that already, ne. >_< While I was watching the fireworks, I wanted to grasp them in my hand. They were so beautiful and I wanted it to go on forever. I didn’t want it to end. Much like this day. I don’t want this day to end. Life became more interesting since you and I met. I didn’t expect you would somehow end up in my life. I learned a lot. I learned how much of a good person you are, how down to earth you are, and how sweet you are. The you I’ve come to know is different from the you that I expected. I want you to stay beside me always, even if you don’t have to say anything. We don’t really need words to keep each other company ne? So I ask you to stay, unlike the fireworks that disappear quickly. I’ll have you in a leash to make sure you don’t go! >_<
Love, Mao-chan

Yamapi didn’t know why, but reading her words somehow caused pain to rise in his chest. He leaned on the window as he watched her read his letter in silence.

His letter went:

Honey…<3
I don’t rally know how to make letters. But for you I’ll try my best to explain how I feel since its Valentines. ^_^ I guess I can tell you a story. I’m good in that area. Once upon a time, there lived a girl. Black hair, black eyes. When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Every single thing that happened to me that mattered in some way had to do with her. She’s very sweet, but she hits. She’s very thoughtful, and reminds me of my mother sometimes. She smells really good. After I spend the day with her, I go to bed at night with my clothes still smelling like her. She’s someone truly special that I can’t stop thinking about. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met and just knowing she’s not far from me has given me this constant fluttering in my stomach. It keeps me awake at night. When I think about who I can tell talk to about this, the only person that comes to mind is you, because you are the one I feel this way about. You know the girl I’m talking about, ne? She’s holding this letter. If I tried to tell this to anybody else, they’d say that you and I are impossible, that our lives are too complicated, that we would never be right for each other. But we understand each other and care for each other and ages from now, I believe we still will. I love you. Now, forever, and everyday in between. Happy valentines.

Mao finished the letter with tears streaming down her face. Yamapi didn’t realize she was crying since she had her back turned to him. She got up from the bed sobbing, walked towards him and hugged him.

“Heh? Nanni?” Yamapi aid.

She cried a little harder, making his shirt wet.

“Ne, ne. I told you I hate seeing you cry.”

She didn’t budge and held him tighter. He remembered his talk with Johnny and it occurred to him at that moment that if Mao wasn’t letting go, he wouldn’t either. He hugged her back and stroked her little head.

“Why are you crying?” he asked.

“I don’t know either.”

He silently laughed and wiped her cheeks with his shirt. The little droplets of tears that clung to her eyelashes made him want to cuddle her. It was the most adorable thing he ever saw. He led her to the bed and they both tucked themselves in. They got too dizzy from all the sugar and the writing they did. Yamapi turned off the lam and took his shirt off. He leaned in to give her their usual goodnight kiss but somehow they both didn’t ant to part from that kiss. They sunk it deeper and deeper into it, until gradually became more than just a kiss. When one thing leads to another, there’s usually no stopping it and so they begin to undress each other and unlike the other nights that they slept in one bed, this time, something actually happened. And the only description of it that you’ll ever get is that it was definitely worth Yamapi’s wait.

Yamapi woke up at the dead of night. He looked at the clock on the bedside table and it glowed 3:45. Only then did he realize that he was naked, and so was Mao who was curled up in a fetal position close to him. They were buried under the thick heavy duvet covers but it was still a bit cold. He smiled at Mao’s outline in the dark, and kissed her bare shoulder. He felt for his boxer shorts on the floor beside the bed and blindly reached for it and slipped it on before quietly getting out bed. He took his phone from his bag and dialed for Akanishi.

JIN: [mumbling] Hello?
PI: [whispering] Jin.
JIN: Where the hell are you?
PI: Ssh. I’m in Kyoto.
JIN: Why are you there? Johnny found out didn’t he? I heard it awhile ago from the juniors.
PI: Yeah, photographers followed me. Johnny got hold of it though.
JIN: He asked you to end it?
PI: Not really. He told me to think about what I really want out of the business.
JIN: That’s the same thing. He’s implying that you dump that girl because JE is far more important. I mean, the guy made you. He put you on the map.
PI: I don’t want to be told what to do with my personal life. Not anymore. I came here with her to find out what to do and I’ve decided I’m not leaving her. If Johnny resolves to suspend me for defying his orders then so be it.
JIN: [gasps like a girl] What are you turning into?
PI: I’m sick of the system. I’m close to quitting.
JIN: Don’t say things like that. We all are. You’re not the only one who’s suppressed you know. We’re all not allowed to have a normal relationship. We can sleep with girls for a short time then end it, I mean, that’s the fun part, remember?
PI: See that’s the thing that makes me different from you guys. I want to be serious. I’m sick of screwing around.
JIN: So what are you going to do now?
PI: I don’t know. Look I called to let you know where I cam. And don’t worry, we didn’t elope. We’re coming back tomorrow. Bye.
JIN: Pi. Please make the right decision.
Pi: [long pause] Ja ne.
Yamapi hung up and sat there on the floor for a long time, leaning on the bed. What was the right decision, he thought. A lot was going on in his head and it was driving him mad, and the only sanctuary that can pacify him was being beside Mao, so he climbed back up in bed and carefully wrapped his arm around her. He closed his eyes to go back to sleep and didn’t realize she was actually awake.

--END OF NINTH CHAPTER--

missingY O U

Title: EVERYBODY’S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY HONEY
Starring: Yamashita Tomohisa and Inoue Mao and A LOT of other famous people
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Love/comedy
Disclaimer: No I don’t own Yamapi (though I wish and pray hard I do) or Mao. I am not whatsoever affiliated with JE either. It’s fiction. Look it up in the dictionary.
Chapters: ?


CHAPTER 8

It was another brand new day and it is business as usual for Yamapi. He didn’t sleep in his girlfriend’s house for a change but he was in an uncontrollably good mood when he woke up in his and Akanishi’s shared abode. He had another itinerary with his band, and Mao had to go to school without him, which meant they won’t be seeing each other for a whole day. Nevertheless, Yamapi’s happiness could not be controlled. He checked himself in the mirror and he was smiling from ear to ear. Akanishi, who just woke up and looked utterly hung over, stared at him weirdly. Their morning conversation went like this:

PI: [realizing Akanishi is awake] O~ha~you.
JIN: [sleepy and has a bed head] Did you sleep with a hanger in your mouth? Wipe that smirk off your face.
PI: Nope. I’m just glad I’m alive for another day.
JIN: I got it! You’re back with Keiko. No, wait. With Aoi. Or is it…Gotssan?
PI: Goodness no. [takes out the photo sticker of him and Mao and sticks it on the mirror]
JIN: [squinting his eyes at the photo sticker] Who’s that?
PI: I’ll give you a hint. [Hanazawa Rui tone of voice] Ma~ki~no.
JIN: Heh?! Inoue Mao? You’re sleeping with Inoue Mao?
PI: Why does it always have to be sex with you, I mean I can be in a platonic relationship you know.
JIN: You lucky bastard. I’ve been trying to get respectable and popular actresses today to go out with me but I’m not their type at all! It’s like I’m a magnet to gravure models and singers but I repel actresses. [looks at the photo sticker and points at Mao] Oh she’s cute. And she’s got really nice skin. Wonder what it feels like…
PI: [slaps Akanishi’s hand away from the beloved photo sticker] Okay stop touching it. Yes she is cute and has nice skin. And just for the record, it feels like silk.
JIN: Ne, ne, ne, ne. When you break up with her, I can go after her, right?
PI: [death glare] Just because I’m in a good mood doesn’t mean I can’t hit you right now.
JIN: Heh? But you’re going to break up with her sooner or later, just like always.
PI: I’m never breaking up with her.
JIN: [laughing awkwardly] No seriously, Pi, come on.
PI: I am serious. I’m keeping her. Forever.
JIN: Whoa. This has never happened before. Okay, uhm…how do I explain it to you to make you understand…uhm, you are a superhero. With superpowers. Superheroes are not allowed to get involved with anybody. Superheroes cannot be attached, because those he is attached to, will end up hurt by the enemies. Superheroes cannot love a girl because girl equals weakness. Superheroes have to put the world first before the girl, do you understand the logic here?
PI: I’m. Not. Breaking. Up. With. Her.
JIN: Johnny’s going to kill you.
PI: I don’t care.
JIN: Johnny’s going to break you two apart once he finds out.
PI: He can try.
JIN: I am not comprehending this Is she that great in bed?
PI: Seriously, I am this close to hitting you, you’re ruining my good mood. I’m off to work.

Yamapi left, fuming with agitation. The only reason why he’s so agitated is because Jin was right. Johnny and the company forbid him to date anybody for the mean time, ever since the scandal of him and Goto leaked out. Tabloids printed pictures of them canoodling in public and it stirred anger among his crazy female fans. Because of that, he was forced to break up with her and if that wasn’t painful enough for her, Goto started receiving death threats from random people, and is constantly stalked by mentally unstable fans of him. It also ruined his reputation somehow because he had dated a girl who everyone hated already in the first place. As a super idol, he had to maintain an image—pure, innocent and virginal, yet oozing with sex appeal. People expect Johnny’s Boys to be saints; perfect and hallowed They expect them to be virgins and mama’s boys. Famous, rich, extremely handsome singers who can easily get any girl, are supposed to be virgins? Yamapi thought. Please. Even the youngest juniors have done it already. Being god-like was his job and if his newfound relationship with Mao comes out, he is going to get a mouthful from Johnny, and he might probably even make them break up the way he did when he was Goto. Even before he and Mao decided to date, this has been the plight that’s been bugging him. He decided to call Mao before he gets into his serious “work” mode. He held his phone to his ear while he drove. He was going to yell “Kawaii!” as soon as he heard her voice but to his astonishment, a guy’s voice greeted him.

“Hello?” it said, a manly voice.

Yamapi almost lost control of the wheel.

“Heh? Who’s this?” Yamapi inquired, caught off guard.

“Oh uhm, sorry, Mao-chan went to the bathroom for a while. Can I take a message?”

Yamapi was silent for a few seconds.

“No, just tell her I called. Is this, by any chance, Koichi?”

“Yes.”

“Why’s her phone with you?”

“She left it on the table. She’s coming back, we’re studying.”

“Oh I see. Tell her I called.”

“Okay.”

They both hung up. Yamapi deliberately stomped on the gas pedal in anger but he didn’t exactly know what he was angry about. Normally he never gets crazy jealous over little stuff, but this time it’s different. He has never been this possessive over anyone before.

Mao strode her way back to where she and Koichi sat in the library.

“Yamashita-san called.” Koichi said without delay.

“Oh. You…answered it?”

“Yeah.”

“Did he sound…angry?” she asked worriedly, thinking how Yamapi likes being in a jealous fit.

“No. Why would he be angry?”

“Nothing.”

It didn’t take long for Koichi to realize the obvious.

“Oh I get it. You and him are…” he said, and she just smiled meekly in reply.

Koichi nodded.

“Why did he call? What did he say?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t leave a message.”

“That’s surprising. He should be too busy to call me up.”

“But isn’t that good? He makes time for you.”

Mao laughed a little.

“I guess.” she said, turning slightly pink.

Koichi closed all his books and moved closer to her.

“I have a favor to ask. I’m taking an outside photography class and I was hoping you could be my model.”

“Me? Okay. But what’s the theme?”

“Anything, really. I was thinking of bringing you to my grandmother’s butterfly garden later and take pictures. Is that okay? It’ll b quick.”

“Butterfly garden?”

“Yeah, she breeds butterflies and grows exotic flowers too. She has this big garden full of them, you’ll love it.”

“Sugoi. I’d love to see that.”

“Hai. We’ll meet up later after class then. I’ll take you there.”

“Okay.”

Before Koichi left for his next class, he thanked her deeply. Mao was thinking whether or not she should call Yamapi but she figured he would be busy anyway so she decided to call him later.

“Why isn’t she calling back? That Koichi probably didn’t tell her I called, the jerk.” Yamapi grumbled in the dressing room, making his band members look at him weirdly.

“So? Why don’t you call her again?” Ryo said.

“No. That would be too needy. And pathetic. I’m neither of those.” Yamapi said with an air of arrogance.

“Oh stop it, gimme your phone I’ll dial for you.” Tego said bluntly.

Yamapi looked at him disdainfully.

“I know your tactics, idiot. You’re trying to trick me so you can get her number.” Yamapi said flatly.

The other members guffawed while Tego said “Damn it.” under his breath. Yamapi decided not to call her back (even though he knew he wanted to because he missed her) and preoccupy himself with the TV appearance they were going to do.

It was mid-afternoon when Mao and Koichi met up after their classes.

“Are we taking the train?” Mao asked as they walked out of the building.

“No.” Koichi simply replied and led her to a parked, shiny black motorbike. A Harley one at that.

Mao stood there, gaping at it.

“Kak~koi.” she breathed.

Koichi laughed amusedly and handed her the extra helmet.

“Are you alright riding here?” he asked.

“Yeah of course. I’m kind of scared though. What happened to your car?” she asked, putting on the helmet.

“I still have it, I just like to switch to motorcycles from time to time. Daijoubu, I’ll keep you safe.” he assured, and hopped on his bike. He beckoned her to follow and she did.

“Kyaa sugoi!” she exclaimed as soon as he started it.

“Hold on tight.” he advised, and she held his waist firmly, and felt his athlete abs.

She flinched and yelled a little when they zoomed forward.

Meanwhile, Yamapi, in the studio with his band, was thinking hard and quietly talking to himself.

“She probably doesn’t miss me. Maybe she might not really like me that much. That’s why she hasn’t called back. Oh no. Maybe she’s breaking up with me. How can she break up with me? She can’t break up with me.”

“Oh my god if you don’t stop that I’m breaking up with you.” Ryo said exasperatedly.

“Do you think she likes me?”

“Most probably because you told us a million times that she said the person she likes is you.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”

Ryo rolled his eyes.

“Ugh, she just wrecks me. Her cuteness just wrecks me. She’s so cute I want to eat her up. And did you see her cute skinny figure? Have you seen her cute petite body? It’s such a killer.” Yamapi babbled like a girl.

“No Pi, I haven’t, because Mao is just a floating head.” Ryo said with heavy sarcasm.

“Do we look good together? Are we the compatible type who would last forever?”

“Yes, Pi you’re a match made in heaven.”

“Yosh. I feel confident now. Ryo-chan’s always there to support me, ne.” Yamapi said cheerfully, patting Ryo, who looked worn out from all his ramblings, on the back.

“I think I’m going to come by her house tonight. Surprise her a bit.” he added as an afterthought.

Going back to Mao and Koichi, they have reached their destination. It wasn’t as far as Mao had expected but it was long ride for her considering that it was close to a rollercoaster ride. She was frightened yet excited the whole time. They both got off the bike, and took off their helmets—no helmet hair whatsoever.

“I think there are two Sadako hand marks on my stomach.” Koichi joked, rubbing the spot where Mao had held him for dear life.

Mao laughed shyly and attempted to punch him on the arm, but she remembered he was not Yamapi. Yamapi, she thought. She remembered she was supposed to call him, so she reached for her phone, but as it turned out, she was out of battery. She swore under her breath. Koichi led her to a sort of pentagon-shaped glass house/ green house. From outside she could already see the myriad of colorful flowers and the little vibrant things fluttering around, which she concluded as butterflies. They walked a stone path towards it, while Koichi took his camera out of its little bag.

“It’s beautiful.” she already said, even though they haven’t entered yet.

“It is. My grandmother should be here.” he said.

He opened the glass door to a paradise of flowers and butterflies. The fragrance automatically hypnotized Mao. She didn’t know where to look first; it was simply a whole different world. Koichi had to take her by the hand because she seemed too dazed to continue walking.

“Grandma?” he called out.

“Hai!” an old woman wearing a huge straw hat and a butterfly net popped in out of nowhere, causing Mao to jump back in surprise.

“There you are.” Koichi said, and hugged the tiny old woman.

“You are getting taller and taller everyday. Oh. Is she your girlfriend?”

“No, no. She’s a friend in my university. We’re here to take pictures.”

The old woman looked at Mao in a loving way.

“Such a pretty face.” she crooned.

“Thank you. I’m Mao.” Mao said politely, bowing appropriately.

“Are you sure you don’t like Koichi?”

“Okay, we have to start now, bye.” Koichi interrupted before the situation got awkward. He pulled Mao away as his grandmother smiled at them.

Mao ogled at the variety of flowers, occasionally stopping to lean in and take a whiff of them. Butterflies fluttered all over the place, and there were more in little containers displayed in an array. Mao tired to catch one that flapped above her head, while Koichi clicked away. She was so photogenic, it was like every capture was a Kodak moment.
The sunlight helped with the effect too, enveloping her like she was a holy apparition.
Between shots he would just pause and look at her a little bit, which isn’t creepy, but it would be something Yamapi would be pissed about.

“Your grandmother is nice. Don’t you want to live her?” she asked, gazing upwards, where butterflies played above her. Click.

“No, I want to live alone for once.”

“So you can bring home girls, huh.” she laughed and looked at him. Another click.

“Nah, I’m not the type.”

Mao looked out the glass windows, where the sunlight came in. It was the kind of dark orange light the sun gave off when the afternoon was about to end. She had her back turned to him. Click.

“That’s refreshing. I rarely know men like that.” she muttered, narrowing her eyes into slits as she stared at the sun. Click.

“Oh, you mean your boyfriend was like that?”

“Yeah, kind of.” she smiled weakly.

“Hey.”

She turned her head to face him. Click.

“Perfect.” he smiled, knowing he got the best shot.
Yamapi has been trying to contact her but her phone was shut off. This made him all jumpy than he already was. Their work was done for the day, and he wanted nothing more than to go and see her, since he hasn’t for the whole day. He hurried himself after everything was done.

When the sun had finally set, Mao and Koichi decided to head back, but not before his grandmother offered them to have tea with her. They had a brief chat over tea, and Mao kept laughing, since the old woman still has some spunk left in her. She told Mao to come back anytime, which thoroughly touched her. She promised she would, since she fell in love with her lavenders. They headed back when the sky was already turning dark. On the way back, she wasn’t so frightened of the ride anymore. She loosened her grip and sat comfortably behind him. She was going to ride a motorcycle in her next drama, so she was grateful she was able to get used to it beforehand. Koichi stopped in front of her building, and she got off, giggling.

“That was better than the last ride.” she said gleefully, taking off the helmet and handing it to him.

“Thank you for today.” he said sincerely.

“Thank you too. I love your grandmother.” she smiled.

He looked at her intently, which sort of gave her a funny feeling—he looked at her the way Yamapi always looked at her.

“I’m going now. Be careful.” she said and was about to leave.

“Wait.” Koichi said.

She turned to him. He reached for something inside his jacket pocket and took her hand.

“Here.” he said, placing a small lavender on her palm, the flower she loved so much.

She beamed at him.

“Koichi-san. Thank you.” she said, meaning it.

“I know this is very sudden, but I think it’s the perfect to time to say it, before the opportunity passes by.” he said, suddenly sounding serious.

She looked at him curiously.

“I like you. I have no intentions whatsoever, because I know that you have someone. But I want you to know that I am probably one of the few who would stand aside and wait. I don’t mean to complicate things by confessing to you, because I still want to be your friend.”
His words seemed to elude her. She felt so taken aback she didn’t know how to react. She didn’t see this coming.

“You…” she faltered, but she couldn’t find the next words.

“Yes I do. But I won’t do anything. I respect your relationship with Yamashita-san and I do wish you two the best. I hope this doesn’t change our friendship.”

“No, of course not.” she finally said.

He smiled.

“When everything doesn’t work out, I’ll be here. I’m going to fall in love with you, even if you don’t have to love me back.” he said, then to her surprise, he kissed her on the cheek. She froze in the moment.

He started his bike, then before she knew it, he whizzed out of sight. For a few staggering moments, she just stood there, her feet planted to the ground. She looked at the lavender flower on her palm and smiled. He was a good guy. And maybe in another world, in another dimension, where Yamapi didn’t exist, she could fall in love with him. But in this lifetime, she was crazy for one guy only. She started walking towards the entrance of her building, holding the lavender in her fist, but almost toppled sideways when she saw Yamapi sitting on the steps to the entrance, looking like he was about to murder someone.

“Pi-chan.” she said in hushed tone. As if she wasn’t surprised by Koichi’s confession already.

He slowly stood up and as he walked towards her she secretly hid the lavender in her pocket. She had to admit she was a bit frightened. She has never seen him look this angry before. She expected him to create an outburst.

“I didn’t know you were coming. You waited for a long time?” she asked.

“Yeah.” he answered quietly, and there, she knew she was supposed to be scared.
She’d rather have him yelling at her.

“You should’ve told me.” she said.

“I tried calling you.”

“I ran out of battery.”

“Where did you two go?”

“He needed me as his subject for his photography class. We went to his grandmother’s green house.”

Yamapi gritted his teeth and flexed his jaw. He was trying to restrain himself.

“I don’t want you being around him anymore.” he said forebodingly.

“What? He’s—“

“I saw everything. From the moment you arrived to the moment he kissed you. I was supposed to kick his ass right then and there but see, I’m a good guy. And I don’t want to do it in front of you. I know he likes you and I don’t trust him one bit. I don’t want you hanging out with him.”

“He has no intentions. He promised he won’t make things complicated, because he knows that I have you.”

“Bullshit. We are complicated enough as it is. I am trying to keep this thing between us intact because sooner or later, everyone’s going to be saying ‘Break up with her! Before things get worse!’ and it’s killing me because I don’t want to break up with you and now, a third party comes in, and you expect me not to worry? He will tear us apart.”

“No. Your anger and jealousy will tear us apart.” she retorted.

“You just don’t understand, do you?”

“No I don’t understand. I can’t understand why you don’t trust me. I don’t understand why you make me feel like I’ve done something wrong. I don’t understand why you can’t understand that I—“

At this point she pressed her index finger on his chest and started crying.

“—want to make this work too, you’re not the only one who’s worried because believe it or not, I love you, and not even Koichi-san or Johnny-san or your past girlfriends or the whole world can change that fact.” she cried, hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

Yamapi sighed, and hugged her head.

“Don’t cry, I hate it when you cry.” he said inaudibly, feeling pained again from seeing her tears.

“Are you still mad?” she whimpered, her voice muffled by his shirt.

“No. I can never stay mad at you.” he said soothingly and wiped her tears.

“You were scary” she sniffed.
“Gomen ne.” he said, and attempted to kiss her cheek but then moved to her forehead.

“I don’t want to kiss you there anymore, he kissed you there.” he said jokingly.

“You’re not going to beat him up, are you?”

“No. I can’t blame him for liking you. But if he tries anything, I won’t hold back.”

She lightly slapped his face.

“Did you mean that? You really love me?” he smiled.

Mao frowned.

“Say it again.” he said.

“No. Go home.”

“Huh? I came here to see you and you send me away? Come on, just whisper it to me.”

“No.”

Mao went inside and he followed her all the way upstairs. He was planning on spending the night again there, but she wouldn’t let him unless he stopped asking her to say it again. He stopped then. He spent the night beside wanting to hear the words again, but even if she was reluctant to say it again, he was happy. The climactic evening ended good, even though nothing happened between them that night (again, yes, I know, let’s keep this PG-13 first).

He walked out of the building the next morning feeling once again giddy. They had a fight, but made up in the end, and even found out that his girlfriend actually loved him. That was enough for him, and the happiness it gave him couldn’t be taken away. Nearby the building, a car was parked, and in it were two unknown men, who took photographs of idols for a living. They were on standby since last night, ever since Yamapi went in with Mao, and now as Yamapi exited the building after having spent the night, the photographers took a good photo of him, just as they did the night before.

missingY O U

This is an outlet for my writing and fangirlism

This is ROXIE A. STARR's page for fangirling and writing fanfiction. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. Feel free to comment!

"Ryo eats babies for breakfast. Ryo makes grown men cry. Let him do it."
--Shige

1. My moody senpai Nishikido Ryo
2. My boytoy Yamashita Tomohisa
3. My princess Uchi Hiroki
4. My playmate Max Changmin
5. My baka Jin Akanishi
6. My boytoy#2 Taguchi Junnosuke
7. My hero Hero Jaejoong
8. My hottie with a body U-know Yunho
9. My gorgeousie Takizawa Hideaki
10. My surfer stud Oguri Shun
11. My prettyboy Koike Teppei
12. My prince Eiji Wentz
13. My hentai baka Maruyama Ryuhei

yamapinku-rabu
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my blog

October 2007
November 2007

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